Through

A difficult week it's been.  The girls and husband Dion each took a turn getting sick, and my allergies have been plotting against me more than the typical allergies plotting against me.  And then there's this story...

Once upon a time we had a house that refused to sell for 3 years.  As a result the savings we had depleted over the time it was on the market.  Running out of options, we rented it a few months back.  Initially it was a fixer-upper.  We lovingly and with much dedication saved up the money and restored it while living there.  Over those 8 years, it transformed into a beautiful little cottage, and other than the overall cost of restoration, saving, tackling a project, saving, tackling a project...there wasn't a problem that we couldn't financially swallow. Until this week.  This week there was an unexpected problem large enough to force our hand to take out another loan.

One day while Dion went to pick the girls up from school, I sat by the window for a few quiet minutes before heading off to work.  As you know, I've been in the  reorganize and move everything to a different place frenzy.  Here I sat looking at my newly formed desk/project area, not quite complete.  Everything else has settled into its organized place for the most part, but this area still needs some work. 

Here's what I was thinking about...

Nothing too awful.  Needs a curtain rod and a curtain, a few more organizers, and cleaned up. There's also a small but growing pile of things that need fixed...hemmed, stitched, or glued back together again.  This area is one of the final pieces of the move it all around tetris puzzle.  The other somewhat perplexing puzzle pieces include the laundry pile-up from a still broken washer, as well as other semi-serious fixes on our home that have been waiting for us to address them.  And a garage completely out of sorts and highly testing my patience.

I also found myself zeroing in again on this annoyance...

To most, those white spindle things are probably not too terribly offensive, but to me they are like an outdated step jail. They need to go and my impulsive self was beginning to think they should go now soon.

So there I sat, dwelling on numerous, uncompleted and lingering projects and the developing financial issue, when I caught myself.  I caught myself in a not helpful frame of mind.  I caught myself becoming a little obsessive with my surrounding life. 

You know there is and always will be, "something"...many times multiple somethings...a pressing heart issue, financial situation, health circumstance, difficult relationship, or an altogether different problem of sorts needing resolution.  

And I know that too.

I thought to myself, "Self.  You need to move beyond yourself.  You need a perspective change. "  

So I turned.

just a little.  A slight adjustment to the right.  This is what I saw...

better right?  This is what beautiful early fall looks like.  My thoughts turned to a few recent posts of dear friends on facebook.  How they are working through life circumstances so complicated, they make my temporary situations seem minnow small.  Some of them are going through the kind of stuff that makes us ask the questions without answers.  

Yes.  In that moment I had a small perspective check. We've all had them.  We need them. It can be a missions trip to an AIDS camp in the Bahamas, or to help a out a widow living in the middle of Nowhere Hills, Kentucky, or a two sentence status update from an elementary school friend, or simply looking out our nearest window.  It's when we are sitting in the exact same spot, but we see a little differently.  What we see or how we see it...how we think of it shifts.  Our view changes. It's the whole "Do you see a vase or two guys talking?" thing.

a vase...

 two guys talking...

you saw it just like that, right?

Now. Don't misunderstand. I'm not a big believer in the underskirting of our pain. It is what it is. Authenticity is far up there on my core values list, possibly the highest.  As a kid, learning there were hungry children in Africa successfully stirred up my empathy and compassion for them. But I still wanted to vomit up the lima beans and turnips.

When we get a paper cut, it hurts.  Pain is painful, no matter how small our injury may appear in comparison with another's. We don't know the pain of another.  Although we may remember some of the more distressful experiences from our past, we only know the ache we feel in the moment. That understanding may help us identify with the pain of others, but we don't really know what someone is going through.  

A similar situation affects any two of us in very different ways.  How arrogantly assumptive of us to judge another person's response to their pain and circumstances, pointing out what we perceive to be their shortcomings.  In a similar way, we must extend grace to ourselves as we deal with our lot.  It's not fair to ourselves to know there are others who have gone through or are currently going through the unthinkable, to only then conclude that we have no right to complain or be struggling in our now perceived, comparatively minuscule situation. 

No. Perspective change creates a healthy shift in our view. But it is not numbing out, disengaging, denying, or minimizing our very real and present emotion.  The most authentic way we can work through grief, anger, disappointment, anxiety or whatever it might be, is to walk through it.  Sometimes slowly. Occasionally at a surprisingly faster pace than we may have expected. Sometimes we feel pulled or pushed through, sometimes held up by another through, and sometimes we're just. barely. making. it. through.  But through nonetheless. Our emotion in itself is neither right or wrong.  It just is.

That said, a perspective check can powerfully challenge and move us beyond ourselves in a moment. To look higher and deeper.  To stand at the top of a skyscraper and watch humans scurrying around like work ants below.  To meet a Haitian refugee with no use of his legs, living in garbage and filth, wearing a larger-than-life smile on his face.  A glance over at a little girl basking in outright laughter, even though she cannot see what's beside her and at the end of the day, her survival is one hundred percent dependent on her caregivers.  To hear a woman singing, left alone with her three year old son, the spreading disease in her body taking her very life from her.  But there she stands, singing out a song that testifies to the faithfulness and of all things, goodness of her God.

These experiences do not diminish our pain.  What they do is give us hope in our circumstances.  In the fight.  In our present battle.  Its the human spirit at it's best.  It makes us ask the question, "How could it ever be possible to be surrounded by that kind of tragedy and then smile? and then laugh? and then sing?!"  Their responses inspire us to smile,  or cry,  or squirm,  as they begin to MOVE our mountains.  It's a shift.  It's not a cover up.  It's not magic fairy dust. Sometimes a window into foreboding possibility is what it takes for our perspective to shift.  And sometimes it takes something so genuinely beautiful, so beyond...higher and deeper than us, to move us beyond ourselves.

And so with my perspective in check, I went outside to spend the rest of my quiet time in nature...knowing I'd be captivated by the beauty of a Creator with an intelligence and paintbrush far beyond my own.

and I was...

There was a moment last week when daughter Sara was in tears.  She felt exasperated in a situation and cried, "You taught me to try my best.  And I try my best and it's not good enough.  Were you lying all that time when you taught me that?"  

So we've been talking about that together.  How there are days when "our best" will not be or at least will not seem to be enough.  But there are days when our best will get us through.  And there are days when our best will seem to be exactly what was needed to win a victory or to help another win theirs.

So we keep giving it our all.  To resolve the issues of the heart, issues we're sure others would misunderstand if we even knew how to begin expressing them out loud.  To resolve the problems that surround us as we live out our lives in an environment where the moth and rust destroy.  To stand up for others in the moments when we're barely keeping our own knees from buckling.

A day or two following my perspective check of a day, we had a family trip to Walmart planned.  I had five free minutes before our agreed upon, scheduled, departing time, so this happened...

I guess for now I'm kinda walking through by adding to my mess...and that's okay...for now...I suppose.

In the meantime, hopefully we'll avoid a falling-down-the-steps-and-then-through, kind of through...

                         really.

How are you making your today world beautiful?

Is it Lent?

In last week's post, The Stump House in the City, you met my awesome brother Jason, sister-in-law Krystal and their adorable little girl Tessa the Besta.  

Well.  Every year awesome brother Jason goes on a facebook fast for lent.  Krystal too.  Years ago, I was not so sure about the facebook trend, and came in a little late in the game.  It was Jason who made convinced me to do it.  I thought, "Okay.  We can play type racing games, and I can beat him...and pet games so I can Sara can decorate little pet houses and dress them up. I'll have six to ten friends and keep a low profile."  Wrong. Well, right about the pet games and type racing games...and candy crush...and farm and zoo games...and all the other fb time wasters I allowed myself to get suckered into.  But wrong about the low profile.  That is not the nature of fb.  Six to ten friends...pssh.  But one thing remains. My favorite posts on fb are the ones from Jason and Krystal...especially of Tessa the Besta.  And it makes my day when Jason chats me from work just to say something. the just anything kind of somethings.

That to say, lent equals not a happy time for me.  He made highly encouraged me to sign up for a gmail account for those times.  This way he can still at least chat me the anything kind of somethings from work.  I only use that account during lent.  for him.  Yes. We love each other.  (this is the part where Jason says "don't touch me")

I shared last post that the girls and I are currently on one of Siri's medical trips.  Here we stay in a large house, shared by families who have children undergoing medical treatment. This is our eleventh trip. The stories leading up to how we arrived here are pretty incredible in themselves. We've come to cherish our time here, and now anticipate these visits. Siri stays in her best health, and some pretty great friendships have developed.  We meet families from all over the world. The beach is about a block away, and our daily walk, a few miles along the ocean is one of Siri's favorite activities. Mine too. Sara, not so much.  More family memories are made with every trip.

There have been so many post ideas for the blog spinning around in my head.  I couldn't wait to have the free time here to get to them, envisioning putting the girls to bed, then staying up in the evenings to work them out on the computer.  

But.

Lent came early.  or late.  something like that.

The internet crashed the day we arrived here at the house. This is the second time in the week I've been able to quickly get on the volunteer computer to check and respond to some messages.  So what I thought would be extra intentional story time, turns out to be an internet/blog hiatus. a Jason and Krystal lent of sorts.

It seems like if I'm going to be off internet, it would be much more impressive to be on a self-imposed, deeply meaningful fast or spiritual journey.  Where instead of putting in time online, I choose to go listen to the waves and sing a few rounds of Lord, Listen to Your Children Praying. Become a better person kind of stuff. But instead, I go to bed earlier.  I guess that's being a better person. Mostly it's because the girls and I share a room, and Siri sings/babbles/happily screeches very loudly, very early.  I don't know.   I miss Pinterest.  Next thing I know, everyone is going to wearing coral and mint colored skinny pants. and I'll be left alone, unaware, in my boot-legged jeans.  Oh wait, that's happened.  coral. so. two. years. ago.

I did go jump in the waves today with Sara.  Her eyes light up and she giggles and is full of that child-like joy. The nature of child-like joy is so attractive isn't it?  It's one of the beauties that can only be experienced in relationship, and not always with a child.  Adults with that same light are the ones I find myself wanting to get to know a little better...my bestest friends have that light within them.  And I find them to be so very beautiful.

Any. way.  Although our so far trip has been full of interestingness, the photos taken and stories I'd like to share with you, must for now remain ideas in my head.  Please don't give up on me during this season of lent forced upon us.  I may eventually give in, drive to a Starbucks, and pretend to be cool. I'll sip on tea tips harvested in Antarctica, for hours at a time, while Sara reads 180 more books and Siri wonders how her life has come to this.

How are you making your today beautiful?

The Story of an Adventure Back to a Water Park

One might think adventure would happen in the water park.  But in this story the adventure began after the water park.

You know, the part where you walk out of the park with your kids, exhausted after a few solid hours of water parking, ready to pack it all up in the mini-van. You smell like you've ingested one of those chlorinated pool tablets, and as you walk, you're looking over your kids, questioning if the seventh coat of sunscreen was enough, while announcing a prompt "rest time when we get home", followed by a "where did we park?!?"
 

That pretty much describes us today...us being daughter Sara, who is a ten-going-on-sixteen-year-old, and was suffering through a no talking until we get home time-out, and daughter Siri, who was being pushed in her wheel chair, looking beachy in her larger-than-life, sun-protective hat.
  
Reaching the mini-van, I rooted for my little water-proof carrier thingy that keeps my important things like i.d., park tickets, and the mini-van key.  As I pulled it out of our beaten up Old Navy tote, I realized something.

 

I realized the car key was in the water-proof carrier thingy.  That wouldn't be a problem if we were driving the car, as we had been the day before at this same water park.  But today we were driving the mini-van.  So that meant the mini-van key was...in the mini-van!

Oh no.  What are we going to do?!!!

We are going to think and act a little too quickly.

We are going to say..."Don't panic 10-year-old-going-on-sixteen.  This is a time for an adventure (yay!) and not a chance for a bad attitude.  We are going to walk the short distance to daddy's work and ask him if we can take his car.  We will figure it all out with him, because your daddy knows all things.  Also.  You're still on time-out." 

Something like that.

3.3 miles and an hour and 5 minutes of walking later, according to google maps, we arrived at husband Dion's workplace.  It was maybe the hottest part of the day, and the humidity has been something this summer.

Once there, husband Dion said, "You cannot take the car.  If you take the car, the water park will be closed by the time I come home, and we will not be able to get the mini-van."

"Oh. (pause for thinking)  right."  I said. 

Husband Dion said, "Do you have any money?"

"No." I said.

He counted out and handed me three dollars.  

"Say whaat?" I said with my facial expression, and something like it out loud.  

I don't know.
I guess I thought it would probably be good to have a little more than three dollar bills.

He gave me a ten dollar bill.

okay.  I guess. 

We ended up making it back to the water park 15 minutes before closing.  

Now.  Since good stories have a take-away, I'd like to share with you a few lessons learned from this adventure.

Lesson 1:  Put correct key in the water-proof thingy.

Lesson 2:  My feet will begin to blister within 5 to 10 minutes of continual walking in my new flip flops.

Lesson 3:  If walking in the heat, it is a good idea to stop by a grocery store to cool down and to buy something to eat...like 2 cans of Pringles even if they are not on your diet plan.  It's good to take full advantage of these justified, stress eating, carb-laden moments, and for me, more often than not, those moments are with the white potato.

It is also good to buy a head of cauliflower for later.  Because buying a head of cauliflower helps one feel better about buying, and then immediately consuming 2 cans of Pringles.  

(Buying a head of cauliflower does help me feel better about myself.  "How are you today?" the cash register person asks.  "I am healthy and well," I reply and continue, "as evidenced by the purchasing of this head of cauliflower, thanks for asking.")

Lesson 4:  When buying 2 cans of Pringles, it would be helpful to also buy a drink for the remainder of the walk.  We, being on a limited budget, did not get the drink.

Lesson 5:  If you're in this, or a similar situation, and there is NO money...and if checking out the thrift store you're walking by with blistering feet is still a level 9 temptation, there may be a problem...

Lesson 6:  I thought I knew more people.  
You probably know more people. Husband Dion probably would know more people, but along this highway, nobody recognized me and the girls.  If they did, I'm sure they would have stopped to ask, "What are you doing, walking along these four lanes of busy, eating 2 cans of Pringles, while carrying a head of cauliflower?"

Lesson 7:  There are trollies that go from the water park to husband Dion's workplace.

Lesson 8:  Take time to think through all of the potential options before walking. 
Ask questions.  For example,  "Are there trollies?" (see Lesson 7)  "Do you have friends who might be available to help?" And I don't know, maybe, "Did we renew our triple A road plan for moments like these?"  (yes. we did.)

All in all, it was a good day.  That's what daughter Sara said when we arrived home.  She was going on about how this is how storybooks end...a good day was had by all...or something like that.  So it is fitting to end this story in that way.

And really, it wasn't a total loss.  We got to eat the white potato, see husband Dion unexpectedly...and a ground hog.  also unexpectedly.

And while at the grocery store, convincing myself that Pringles are completely acceptable in this moment, this gift appeared directly before me.  

for a dollar!  A few revisions and this toy will make a pretty much perfect pool table for Ken and his Barbie wives.  So really, it was ALL worth it.

That's the thing with adventures.  Many times they come unexpectedly.  They come with the chance to make memories.  Sometimes they come with a chance to take ourselves a little less seriously.  And I suppose in the end, a good day may be had by all.

What are you doing to make
your today world beautiful?



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Summer Giveaway, Take 2

Two beautiful friends came to visit this weekend. Husband Dion stayed in his man cave, and so together us ladies thrifted and discount stored, enjoyed hang out time, a makeover, ate cakes, and played tourists.  It had been FIVE years!  It's a challenge to carve out space and travel the distance to intentionally nurture those old, amazing friendships...but so worth it. They are the tried and true.  The ones with whom you can expose your yuck and still be loved. That's a treasure.

Still I didn't forget about our second summer giveaway. There's still great stuff to be won, and this week it's super simple.

To enter, share anything from storybook-cottage on Pinterest.  You're favorite post, idea, photo.  anything.  Then in the comments below, let me know you shared, and that's it.  Winners will be posted here Thursday. 

Again, here are some of the prizes.  There will be three winners this time. If you were a winner last week, you may participate and win again. 

Thanks in advance for sharing.  Whenever you've shared on FB or pinterest, views go way up.  And that's great, because this is all new.  My vision for the blog is to share whatever projects are going on here at the cottage, and yet also to share a part of myself, which is the vulnerable part. But I also hope and think it'd be amazing to see photos and links to ideas in the comment sections regularly...for all of us to communicate and inspire one another in our creative process.

With the last fb giveaway and all the make-up talk, it seems like a good time to link my favorite beauty blogger.   You may have already found her, as she has a huge following, and now her own cosmetic line.  If you enjoy watching make-up and makeover tutorials, I encourage you to check her out here. She's super fun to watch, beautiful, and talented.  

Okay, see you Thursday!

How are you making

your today world beautiful?

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The 30 Dollar Birthday Party Challenge

It's time. 

Previously in this post, I told the story of "The 30 Dollar Birthday Party Challenge", or at least the beginnings of how it came to be...   

You know, the story of how I wasn't planning a party for Sara this year, but then husband Dion said, "Let's do something simple. I'll take care of it."  

And how, in the end, that translated, "I'll do games; you do the rest.  With a week and a half to plan.  Oh and sticking to our regular 30 dollar per birthday budget."

That is how the challenge to host a fantastically, fun birthday party for 10 kids, while sticking to that 30 dollar budget, became mine.

Turns out there were 9 kids at the party including Sara and Siri, and two parents. Plus husband Dion and me of course.

Here are some photos of the final result, with links to simple project tutorials, of what ended up being...

"the bestest birthday ever"...Sara

To which I replied, "But Sara, what about the 200 dollar storybook party two years ago when you turned 8?...the one I poured gazillion amounts of time and imaginative energy into?!"

That's not at all what I said, but maybe I thought it. (I DID.)  Either way, I was thrilled that her 10th birthday, this party, was every bit the success...and funtastically cheap.

It began with a trip to The Dollar Tree.  Here's what's great about The Dollar Tree.  ANY ONE THING is an option. Under no circumstance do I need to stand back and think, "Poor me.  I can never have that thing of wonder.  for a dollar."  

Here are the goods.

We got the lollipops at TJ Maxx.  Husband Dion and I split half the bag (and cost), so he could keep some in his office.

Next we used the birthday gift tags to make our invites.  See how here.

Then the decorating began with a 15 minute banner. Banner instructions here.

There were balloons.  Lots and lots of balloons.  to blow up.  Being on a budget, Sara and husband Dion were recruited, and together we became a family of light-headed people. Amazon has inexpensive balloon pumps here.
Balloons are one of the easiest, least expensive way to add color to a party.  I do wish I would've thought to add a small balloon cluster in the very middle.
The thing with parties is there's always more that can be done.  When the party starts, it's time to walk away from the planning and relax.  I usually get there about half way through.

Presents were assembled.  

Our gift to Sara is the basket of pink tissue papered goodies.  Total cost $2.50.  The theme was pink stuff...Sara's favorite color.  Plus the vintage storybook to begin her own collection.  Gift cost was included in the 30 dollar budget.

Next came food.

 

There was a popcorn stand.  Click here for instructions on the ice cream cake stands and popcorn stand...great examples of using what we already have.

  (pouring popcorn into cups is easier in a cake pan,
because you can just dump the bag/bowl of popcorn in.)

There were iced animal cookies, and Sara requested strawberry lemonade.  If you live near an Aldi, frozen organic strawberries are 2.50 I believe.  We were already stocked up, so I didn't calculate them into the birthday budget.  Husband Dion made came up with this lemonade recipe in our early years, back when our budget told us that anything at the dollar store was NOT an option.  easy. cheap. Maybe if we ask nicely, husband Dion will

share the recipe in the comments below. We added the strawberries for fun.  But the lemonade on its own is every bit as good, and also pretty.

She also requested an ice cream cake

with strawberry cake inside, so we made single

serving sized ice cream cakes, and they were amazing!

Typically, I make a special cake from scratch.  We pretty much abide by a no box policy, unless it's a box of pasta or cereal. But this year I saved time and money buying a yellow cake mix at The Dollar Store. With a few changes, it became a deliciously moist strawberry cake.  It was one layer in the ice cream cakes. Here are the instructions to make a box mix taste like it's from a bakery, along with my single serving ice cream cake recipe . With the chocolate ice cream and crunchy layers...yum. yum. and yum.

This candle is actually an 8 used for Sara's 8th birthday party, bought at the dollar store. (found the idea here) I redecorated one side as an "8" and the other an "S".  Sara's special cake was at the top, wrapped in duct tape.  The original was similar to this one.

Adding to the decorations, our recently transplanted knock-out rose bloomed on the day of her party!  just in time.

...speaking of time, time for the party to begin!

The rose on the table is recycled from Sara's musical earlier in the week.  She was the Queen of the High C's. The stones in the vase are from our mancala game.  They can also be bought at The Dollar Tree.

 There were games. 

I call him husband Dion. Others call him Mr. Fun.

He came up with games based on what he could find in the garage, leaving all 30 dollars to me.  He's a smart one that husband Dion.

Prizes were lollipops, and there were extra for the kids to take a few home.  Kids don't need all the cheap, little, plastic, junk stuff in a little bag to take home.  That stuff finds its way straight to the garbage, or under my feet in the middle of the night.  Instead, give them an organic fruit lollipop or two, and they're good to go.  

Hey, Laura Ingalls Wilder was happy with an orange in her Christmas stocking.  Tough it out kids.  Tough. It. Out.

There was photo taking.

eating.

 unplanned storytelling.

There was present opening and lollipop sucking.

And to end this great day, down came the balloons, as we indulged in a hipper than a hippopotamas dance party.

(he's so dreamy)

When the kids left, lollipops in hand, their eyes were filled with light, their bellies with sugar, as it should be.

Now, if I were to do it again, the napkins would stay on the store shelf, since not one attending child believed in the use of napkins.  I would use a brownie mix from the dollar store, instead of pretzels, for the ice cream cake's bottom layer.  I would hang balloons in the middle of the balloon canopy and use thicker thread, and I would take a little time to blend a few strawberries into the lemonade.

also. have I mentioned a balloon pump?

But really this party was a super success.

This "best birthday ever" girl was thankful.

 (although she didn't really want to stop playing
to get a picture with her mama. some people's kids.)

And I DID IT!!! I conquered "The 30 Dollar Birthday Challenge!"  The total party from invites to thank you notes (and including Sara's presents from us) came to $30.23, with tax. I'm calling it a win. Click here for an expense breakdown. 

Here we are enjoying the after party.

(Pull down your shirts ladies.)

 
As parents, we may choose to financially indulge our children with birthday parties, Christmas gifts, clothes, and whatever else, because we want them to be happy, to have all the things they want in life, maybe sometimes the things we didn't have.  But really I wonder. Are we using these occasions as a way to prove our love for our child?

Birthdays are a time to celebrate a life.  It can be done with thousands of dollars, and it can be done with thirty.  Whatever we decide, the important element is having authentic celebration. Every day is the chance to demonstrate our love for our kids.  Sometimes, many many times in our home, our parental love is demonstrated through discipline and lectures deserving the very bestest of eye rolling, every bit as much as it is through the snuggles and laughter.

Love is a parenting style. not a dollar amount.  And beauty comes from pure hearts, not from our wallets.

How are you making your

today world beautiful?

(talk to me)

if you liked this story, will you please share it with a friend? or all of them? do you have many friends? if not would you consider sharing it with a stranger? How about lots of strangers? If you didn't like this story, would you still consider sharing? friends or strangers...either one really. 

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